transitions.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

i think if i don't start changing my lifestyle... im just gonna be wasting time.

actually, i dont know if i wasted time staying america for the past 1 year. i spent 1 year of my life, yes 1 year of my life america after i graduated. i don't know if it was worth it, working as a waiter, working as part timer in small advertising company. all i do everyday is just starbucks, yes i spent really a lot on coffees and food, and all the unhealthy stuff that intoxicated my life for the past 1 year. well... it was fun, it was relaxing, it was really carefree. america made me dream, in fact i feel like i lived in a dream last time. but somehow when i came back to singapore, i still couldnt accept reality, i still couldnt accept the fact that im back.

but i dont think its a choice. if i really want to leave singapore, i should start doing smth about it now. well. people don't wait. some of my friends left last year to pursue another degree, i could have done that but i didnt study hard. i think its never too late to make amends, perhaps i can start by doing this step by step? its a miracle that i didnt need to refill on my phone card this year... pretty amazing isnt it? well. thats because no one called me, or rather i didnt really make any calls out either. my social circle in singapore has indeed become smaller, but i guess thats alright since im away for so long.

for this 1 month, i did nothing. my physical health is diminishing too, like what my china friend had said, when i joined tajima i looked more bubbly and healthy. but when i left, i look like a walking corpse. there wasnt any glow on my face. always pale, always sleepy, always not energetic. i think i should fix my life, since the chapter in america has already ended.

i think im still the same darwin, as lazy as ever, im not that smart either its just that time to time i act smart. i look down on things that i shouldn't, and even if i do look down on things that i should, i think its still not acceptable. maybe listening to my mom is a good choice, since shes hardly wrong. i still need still a direction to follow since im so lost.

10 years down the road, im gonna be 30 plus and my parents would be old... i guess i should start something really soon. 365 days a year, 365 opportunities awaits? hahahaha. i shall start changing my life by doing the most most most important thing, sleep.

Friday, September 25, 2009

rawhgshghsgs.

i wonder why are singaporeans soo skinny. sometimes i feel like they are too malnourished. or is it just me thats fat.

i went down to ICA office, then to bugis. my attempt for the application for the extension of the tourist visa failed, cause they need a local sponsor. what an ass. at the end of the day, i applied for extension online.

now i feeel uber fat, i feeel sooooooooooooo discriminated. okay no one discriminated me but oh well. i squeezed onto the 145 bus, its soooooo blooody crowded. what an ass, i almost died inside the bus. i think singapore is really crowded now because of F1.

i gotta find something to do soon man before i start rotting.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

you see... actually i had a lot that i wanted to write. BUT as soon as i reached home, i switched on the television and i totally totally can't remember what i want to write, im sucha an idiot. right?

sometimes i think singapore isnt any more different than san diego. Though im back with my mom but we don't really go out. the bed in my house is really tiny as compared to the bed i had in the states, even the self-made bed i made ( carpet + blanket ) is way bigger than my current bed. it could even fit me and mr bruin in it. i don't have a car, and i practically become handicapped. honestly, i dont mind taking the bus the train, but its just that im limited by its services hours. for example, i went to orchard last saturday. but i have to go home before 12 or il miss the last train.

today i went out to shaw plaza. went to their balcony, chute chute and went home. its lame isnt it? but its nice place to watch the sunset. well... i realized i dont have many friends in singapore. maybe i do, but.... oh well.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

this is my first blog entry from singapore after 1.5 years. ( hints )

i wasted 2-3 weeks here in singapore doing nothing, and weird enough i find my social circle really tiny. like really really tiny. it seems to me everyone is making new friends, girlfriends, etc etc and im actually still single and .... lonely? HAHA. to think i use the word lonely, thats seriously gay. well, i think everything is pretty much the same, with the exception of a few new things, like new bus lines, new shopping center. As for my friends, i think they are pretty much the same, where as i think i changed ( not for the better or worse ) its just that somehow the way i see things changed, weird indeed.

actually i have a lot i want to rant about, but i realized if i make a post like that i will probably offend a lot of people. well.